Another average day on Runeterra

Akali: “Make haste!” Shen: “Ready?” Kennen: “Steady.” Mundo: [slurps] _Shadows flicker rapidly. An atmosphere of chaos, of dissonance, resonates throughout the proximity. Surgical instruments and chemicals lay scattered on an operating table in the centre of the room. Mechanically, a flat, piercing sound echoes continuously through the cold, eerily lit room: _ [Ravaged.] [Ravaged.] [Ravaged.] _The unconscious victim rests on an elevated operating bed, connected to tentacle-like tubes. Linked to an intricate cardiopulmonary machine, and fitted with a combination of techmaturgical components and hextech constituents, it crackles with electrical energy. The vibration of high frequency signals reverberate from an in-built monitor. Though the machine’s appendages seem redundant, I witness such advanced medical technology, far exceeding that of Pilitover or Zaun. Extraordinary._ _The light here is harsh. I require a closer look. _ Shen: “But why have we been called to this dismal place again? This medical facility is in the middle of nowhere!” [points at me] “And who on Runeterra are you, doc? I’ve never seen you before.” “I’m here for information. What happened?” Akali: “Our patient has suffered extensive magical damage. Allegedly, he was on a scouting mission when he suffered major collateral damage of some sort. I’m not sure whether it was Finales Funkeln, but judging by the state of the disintegration to his bones and internal organs, he’s in a critical condition.” Kennen: “Indeed. Due to the seriousness of this situation, I suppose the high councillors had no choice but to call upon us. We haven’t encountered such a serious case since the Institute of War’s collapse. Such fearful ability power from the perpetrator! It doesn’t help that the victim’s injuries are greatly exacerbated by his lack of magical resistance.” Shen: “He deserved it if you ask me. How many times have I asked Teemo change his toxic ways? But no! Same old, same old, Deathfire grasp into Mejai’s soulstealer and Morellos. The squishy idiot! He could try out guardian angel for once; it’s been buffed since patch 6.9. But no, no, no, it’s always ‘never underestimate the power of the botting code’ or something. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it’s the mushrooms that have addled his brain and yellowed his teeth. Besides, if light travels so fast, how come it’s never caught a ninja?” Mundo: “Mundo never liked morello…. omn-nom-nom-nom-” [slurps] “-i-con anyways.” Akali: “Please doctor, you mustn’t be consuming mana potions at this critical hour.” Mundo: “Mundo clever! Mundo thirsty. Mundo bought them before they went out of stock!” Kennen: “Oh so you’re the reason why I’m always out of mana these days, you accursed excuse for a champion.” Shen: “For goodness sake you guys don’t even use mana.” Akali: “Remain focused team! Hesitation is the seed of defeat. Someone, bring me a crystalline flask. Is there anything else you need, doctor?” _I gaze down at the yordle before me. Such fascinating evolution indeed. During my travels, I had encountered few yordles. They were odd creatures of flesh and blood._ _A putrid variety of internal aromas fills the air. These creatures can really be repulsive. It seems as though few organically contain true resistance to magic damage. The one before me appears to be seriously injured. Not good. _ “Hmm this is a fragile species. I’m afraid his skin is not transferrable. Are no organs safely removable?” Shen: [sighs] “How to solve the problem that is Teemo?” Mundo: “More like: why the mission to fission this imprecision?” Shen: “You’re asking the right question buddy.” Kennen: “Well technically, it’s actually fusion. By definition fission is-” [Pulse!] [Pulse!] [Pulse!] _The monitor’s voice rises in volume, as though to emulate the urgency of the victim’s situation. Yet, reminiscent of another League champion, it was simultaneously a dull tone. An unsettling automaton, symbiotically tethered to its patient, trying to act as if it was alive. Without success. No doubt foreshadowing what would be to come. _ Akali: “Spare me the technicalities Kennen. Bring me more anaesthetics and an elixir of iron immediately!” “I’m afraid that at this rate, he won’t make it. Not even Eleisa’s Miracle would save him. It seems his chances of survival are less than zero.” Kennen: “His final moments approach.” Akali: “No…. it can’t be… no. Is there nothing we can do?” _Akali looks around at her companions pleadingly before frantically turning to the machine. Droplets of sweat run down her face as she desperately searches for the controls that could prolong her friend’s life. But there is nothing to be done as the monitor’s voice falters, and gradually fades. _ [P-protect.] [P-p-prot-]. _Silence._ [Thrown.] [Thrown.] [Thrown.] --- Kennen: “A silent death.” Akali: “No… please…” Mundo: “Agony, ecstasy, peace. Every passing has a beauty-” _Throughout the ordeal, the nurse kept her composure. It must surely have been a lot of effort suppressing her feelings. Yet, with Mundo’s last outburst, she could control her feelings no longer. The rest followed once the first tear broke free. Kneeling before her dead companion and clutching his arm in her own, she sobbed as the cold reality hit her. If only he could be with her for just one more minute…_ _Genders are more easily discerned by the pitch of their cries._ _Her companions stand around her awkwardly, clearly unmoved by her emotional outburst. Mundo eyes the crystalline flask with interest. Kennen and Shen shift towards her uncertainly, surprised by her uncharacteristic behaviour._ Kennen: “Akali, why? Teemo was practically invisible half the time, if he wasn’t AFF (away from fountain). He was always unbalanced. Teemo’s preposterous ways have given summoners trouble for many years. As if the executive summoners didn’t have anything better to do than to revamp him every third month and nerf him during the other two. I’m sure many of us champions won’t be sorry to see him go.” Shen: “Akali, champions are being regularly inducted into the League of Legends. The midget is replaceable. Might as well get used to it right? If anyone had to go, I’m glad it’s Teemo. I hope Shaco’s next. On all accounts, it’s no loss if you ask me-” _Akali stands up feebly, her sobs slowly subsiding. Composing herself, her breath stutters as she inhales, her lungs rummaging for oxygen. Her voice cracks as she speaks._ Akali: “No! You don’t understand Shen. None of you do! Size doesn’t mean anything! Everyone, no matter how small, brings something valuable to the world. You mustn’t let your personal feelings get in the way of balance. You have no idea of the impact this has, on us, on the future generations of summoners, champions, everyone on Runeterra! We’ve always been proud to have 131 active, and counting, champions in our community throughout the times. This day will be a terrible stain on League’s history.” Mundo: “Mundo sad.” Akali: “An autopsy will be performed in due course, and I daresay, an investigation into the perpetrator. While this is a tragedy, we need answers too. I don’t think Lux or Karthus could’ve performed a feat of such dire magnitude. Bandle City’s emissaries must be informed at once, and the high councillors too.” _Akali’s companions gaze at each other uncomfortably, not daring to meet her eye. The silence is deafening._ Akali: “Thank you for your efforts today everyone. Dismissed.” _One by one, they exit._ --- _Except Akali._ _She remains behind with Teemo, standing by the yordle’s side. Reaching for his arms, she turns the machine off. The tentacle-like tubes contract, and the machine’s rotary ceases. Sinking to the floor in despair, a hollowness reverberates, wracking against her heart. Her friend was gone._ Akali: “You will be missed, Teemo. Not everyone appreciates those with the ability to stealth. In time, though you might fade into invisibility, your memories remain with me for eternity. I promise that you will not be forgotten. The balance will never truly be the same without you.” “I acknowledge your pain.” _Akali turns around in surprise. She smiles at me gratefully. A bitter smile; a singularly painstaking effort. Yet still a smile. I move closer towards her._ Akali: “Few understand true balance. It seems as though we travel the same path. Thank you, doctor.” “Indeed. I must know more. I require such knowledge.” _Interesting. Humans; simple, messy, yet exceptional. What secrets is she hiding?_ _I inch closer._ "I require knowledge. You may experience mild… incineration." Akali: " um… pardon?” _Closer._ _She jumps and turns to the door. My presence here causes her distress. Amusing._ _I laugh. Flailing appears to be a universal response. Must they always flee?_ _I open my eye wide._ “Knowledge… through DISINTEGRATION!” --- _Only two specimens were collected today. Average indeed. To date, none have survived preliminary testing. The hunger in me grows, day by day. I am not satisfied._ _Ah the void! I miss the darkness. How quickly another day on Runeterra flies by!_ _I am **Definitely Not Vel’Koz**. Thank you for your contribution._
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