LRF Contest: Tahm Kench ate the pig

Vayne was not amused. Nor was Sejuani. Why? Tahm Kench ate the pig. Not Sejuani’s pig nor the little ones that danced around it when she recalled but the little athletic gymnast of a pig that happened to be holding the red pocket.[/img] Happily sitting on ever so comfortable pile of pure gold coins was the offender in question. Was he guilty? No. He was perfectly content. A full tummy, full of delicious dim sum dumplings and an overly flexible, happy piglet. This was normal right? This happened in the original video. So, you might be wondering, why on earth are these two women doing being mad with our catfish of a coin emperor? The answer to that my friend is that good ol’ Tahm Kench ate and digested the poor piglet. This, in fact, changes how the story progresses immensely. Poor Vayne had to figure that out the hard way. The plan was that Tahm Kench would eat the piglet and store it in his stomach so Vayne could go prestige when she leaves. This was not the case and Vayne ended up standing in the void of Tahm Kench’s stomach, staring at the never-ending surroundings and groaning. When Tahm Kench spits Vayne out with a big “Blehh”, she is very annoyed, _extremely annoyed_. So much that she glares at Sylas whom she was just in combat with, her eyes _daring him to attack_ before turning towards her frozen partner and breaking her out of the ice. "How did you even get frozen?! Sylas doesn't even have a freeze!" Sylas just kind of stood off to the side of the drama awkwardly waiting for them to sort themselves out. “The pig isn’t there!” Vayne half-screams at Sejuani in pure frustration, “Tahm ate the pig, right? The one with the red pocket”. Sejuani re-orientated herself then turned her attention towards the noticeably upset night hunter. With her brain still slightly fuzzy from being in the ice, she smartly replies “Uhh… yeah, why?” Vayne facepalms, “Sejuani! I’m not in my prestige form and the pig isn’t in his belly!”. Realisation bubbles up in her stomach and a deep sense of dread trickles down her spine. “He didn’t swallow then _digest_ the pig… right?”, Sejuani asked, visibly nervous. Vayne’s eyes widen in disbelief. Vayne, Sejuani and her giant pig of a partner move to flank the offending creature and stared him down. Sylas, who is still awkwardly standing in the background of the drama suddenly gets jabbed sharply in his side. Bent over, on his knees and quietly groaning in silent despair, he looks up to face his attacker. Fellow lunar wraiths, Morgana and Caitlyn stare him down in disappointment, Morgana’s hand still hovering in position from her previous choice of action. ‘Somehow this scenario feels familiar’, Sylas thinks as his eyes wander to the two firecrackers staring down the fat catfish. A deep sense of pity towards his fellow male filled him before his attention was dragged back to the women in front of him. Caitlyn sighed in disappointment, motioning him to stand up, “Sylas, our duty is to turn the world towards the darkness. Not to stand to the side and simply watch the light bringers”. Morgana nodded in agreement, content with Caitlyn’s comments, “We fought last year, now it’s your turn”. Sylas stood and faced the two in slight disbelief, “Did you two come here to just lecture me with no intention of aiding me in our conquest? This is a team game isn’t it?! 3v3 has significantly better chances than 1v3! We should work toge-” “We fought last year. As Morgana has already said”, Caitlyn interrupts sharply. Morgana glares Sylas down, raising her already positioned arm slightly to emphasise its significance as a silent threat, “I don’t appreciate having to repeat myself. Now go, we will follow.” Taking that information, Sylas stood and turned towards the light bringers prepared to fight with his more experienced lunar wraith allies. Simultaneously, occurring on the other end of the drama spectrum, Vayne’s frown deepened, her eyebrows creasing in displeasure as she stared down the coin emperor in front of her, “Tahm… Where’s the pig?”. The catfish in question grinned widely at the girls and the giant meal pig that stood before him, licking his lips he replied, “What pig? There's only one ~~meal~~ pig I see and it looks mighty delicious.” In nervous anger and in disapproval, Sejuani quickly moved in front of Bristle, coming between her partner and his potential predator. A tear of nervous sweat dripped down the side of her neck as she spoke trying not to imagine Bristle turned into roast dinner, “No! The _little_ pig that we were chasing!” Tahm Kench tilted his head in confusion unintentionally signalling Sejuani to continue to attempt to describe their lost pig to him, her arms flying around in wild gestures. “The really athletic little pig that basically did a backflip out of the window with _so much_ athletic potential. Didn’t you see it!”. Her eyes were shining as her imagination went wild thinking of how great of a partner that pig could become. Vayne scowled and hit her over the head to knock her mind back onto the planet, “The pig is missing Sejuani! He probably has already digested the poor thing and it’s likely sitting in his bowels, along with the **red pocket**, awaiting excretion!!” Sejuani felt her stomach drop in despair due to the loss of such potential and felt her anger towards the coin emperor rising rapidly. Sylas, who was recently dispatched to attack the group by his slightly demanding allied lunar wraiths, approached the group ready to attack. Unaware of the current situation concerning their internal drama, he raised both of his chains and lashed them out at the night hunter whom he was closest to at the current moment. In a burst of emotional rage Sejuani, who saw him interfering, lobbed her ice bola at the attacking lunar wraith, subsequently freezing him and yelled, “Back off wraith!! We have more important issues to deal with than you right now!” before returning herself to her previous state of fuming at and lecturing the grinning coin emperor in front of her alongside the very non-prestige Vayne. Sylas, whose head managed to remain unfrozen unlike the rest of his body, chose not to comment on the light bringer’s situation and decided to address his own personal issues on his end of the drama spectrum. He ticked in annoyance and turned his head to the side to glare at his supposed allies, more specifically Morgana, “Where was the black shield?! You told me to go in (pinged) and that you would follow! (no follow up)” Morgana shrugged and Caitlyn sighed once again, “Sylas, our goal is to turn the world to darkness. Don’t go in 1v3, we won’t win that way”. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU TOLD ME TO GO IN!” He turned his head sharply back in the other direction, facing the light bringers. “AND WAIT, YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN NEED PRESTIGE TO DEFEAT US. IT’S A SKIN AND GIVES NO STATS.” That, my friends, is why the world is in perfect balance. **_The End._**

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