The Semi-Decent Six
“Please sir ya gotta help me. Ma town is overrun!” wailed a young lady.
Yasuo didn’t budge, leaning on the fractured porch post with his hat shadowing his face.
“Please, your ma last hope. Sheriff Caitlyn aint haven’t none of it. The county dont believe theres an underworld monster terrorising ma town.”
‘Underworld?” Mumbled Yasuo as he fiddled with the piece of wheat in his mouth. “This might be a challenge but nothing I haven’t handled before.”
“Well?” She asked screwing up her face.
“This piece of wheat tastes like shit and the saloon’s closed anyway, so fine. But first I'm going to need a gang,” He said leaning in close, “and I know the right kind of people.”
Yasuo grabs the girl and plants her on the back of a horse and they set out.
“First we ride south. There we’ll meet an illusive man known as the Artist. Jhins one of the best shots and highwaymen in these parts. Not a good painter though, mostly just a drawer of crude flowers and dead animals. He’s sensitive. Just a heads up to keep your mouth shut so he doesn't use you as paint.”
Before they arrive they find Jhin hiding on the side of the road behind a giant rock, checking out their worth for a stick up.
“Jhin! I see you ya moron. Take ya dam weird ass goggles off freak! The reflections giving away your position! Come down, I got an assignment for your artistic talent.” exclaimed Yasuo.
Jhin stares intensely without budging. The girl worryingly looks at Yasuo’s unamused face. Jhin turns his head in disgust and disappears to only reappear down the bottom with a horse and rifle on his back.
“Now the next ones a doozy.” Grinned Yasuo. “They call him the backup bartender.”
“Why's that?” The girl replied so innocently.
“Because when Mr. J Urgot sees a violent rukkus in his bar, he doesn’t pull out his old 12 gauge winchester from under the tabletop. Instead he whips out six guns in every direction. No man or machine can out gun him. You can handle this. I need a piss.”
The girl gulps as she looks over the bar to see six beefy mechanical legs of gears and steam. With a nervous outburst of a clap she attempts to effortlessly persuade.
“Ex-excuse me, Mr Urgot was it? My frie-partner Yasuo, said you could lend a hand in takin’ back my, uh, town.” Said the girl shrinking a little in her stool.
Urgot puts down a wet glass before he finishes drying it and cracks his neck slightly, but powerfully.
“Why of course madam, anything to assist community misfortunes. I shall close shop at quickest convenience and prepare my things right and proper.”
Urgot glided away to gather his things and flip over the open sign of his bar: The Delighted Traveller.
“The last two are always fighting about who's the best quickshot around. Just appeal to their ego until we’ve hired them. First one’s the Gunslinger, also known by his mother as Lucian. He’s got fast and dead eye reactions along with two pistols that even then, he won't miss a synced shot. And then there’s the Ace. Tobias Twisted Fate Felix, has quick and dam slippery hands for mostly dice and cards. But when his life's on the line he can kill three able man with a flick of his wrist. You can bet on him but not with him. Piece a shit,” said Yasuo idly.
The four of them stop at a rowdy casino with dice, money and bullets flying around in there a like a tornado.
“Looks a tad dangerous,” says the girl before Yasuo waves the other two to stay where they were.
Curiously they waited before Longhorn Alistar throws the two men they’re after on the ground in a tattered, crumpled mess.
“Get the hell outta here! You DON’T… mess with the bull,” snorted Alistar before returning.
Twisted fate passes Lucian some cash from his many trick pockets and sleeves.
“Fair enough, just take it.” Twisted Fate said chokingly.
Lucian barely grabs a hold of it, “Mighty obliged, but still not enough.”
Towering over them Yasuo looked at them both as they nodded in agreement with an unspoken deal.
With the gang united they gather around on their trusty steeds ready for anything, even a demon.
“There’s plenty of daylight,” explained Yasuo, “so let’s not waste anymore time. Ya!”
And away they went to the young girls town under one of the hottest summer days yet. The sun was like a constant fever. In fact it was so hot they put it off for another day. In the mourning they yee’ed and haw’ed until arriving in the dead centre of town. The town was silent and battered. Civilians peered through eye holes on windows and walls while the gang waited for something to happen.
A loud shot rang out and Lucian fell to the ground dead.
“What the shit Urgot?!” cried Twisted Fate.
“It just went off, I don't know. I have six to maintain sometimes they misfire.”
Urgot got off his horse and bowed down to Lucians body and asked for forgiveness.
“I think he said no,” said Yasuo, “he was like a crowd favourite you know. I hope you understand that. Instead we get you and your pudgy weird face.”
“I shall splay his body in the shape of purity in his honor.” Jhin said elegantly.
Before anyone could process this, out came the ancient devil of the sands.
He rode a common pest among the people; a Sonoran Kog’maw. It was barely the right size to hold him up as it finally rested in a deathly pant in front of the group.
“I didn’t expect this,” Hissed Thresh, “a hearty gang fit enough to fight me, a demon of the west. I’m flattered.”
Yasuo looked back at his crew and whispered intensely, “Lucian was the only one who's dealt with this before and I was kind of relying on him. I’m going to have to… improvise.”
Yasuo turned back slowly facing the fiery ancient. Yasuo put his hands together and pointed them to Thresh.
“We can obviously take you down with such a strong crew containing the best of the best. However, not without losing a few very good colleagues. So, I propose a duel between my best man and yourself, to avoid me from losing men, or perhaps you from losing your life,” Yasuo looked around nodding, “A sound deal.”
“I enjoy a challenge. Anything to spice up my immortal existence. A foolish play on your part,” Thresh laughed.
“Wait who's the guy getting thrown under the carriage against a demon.” asked Twisted Fate.
The two stood in the town centre.Tobias’ forehead was sweating and the ancient devil stood motionless with his claw-like hands ready to whip him down. The next tumbleweed to roll by and cross the middle would initiate the draw. It was quiet enough to hear Jhins humming, raising the tension. Urgot’s eyebrow twitched and his legs stayed still and silent. The young girl clung to a porch post as if her life depended on it. And Yasuo yelled out.
“Ok hold up, look at the sun. It’s no straight up, which means there's an unfair advantage, since one of you will not have the sun in their eyes. That's where the phase high noon comes from.”
“Ah gees,” sighed Thresh.
“Oh really, someone here is to big for their boots to wait for a fair match,” barked Yasuo.
“Oh look at me I’m a leader of a gang with friends and a purpose in life, whatever.”
Yasuo adjusted his hate,“Step aside Toby.”
Yasuo stood took Twisted Fate’s place with the sun glaring in his face, forcing him to skwint. Thresh reeled back in excitement with flaring eyes. And a tumbleweed, so humble, etches towards the middle. Yasuo is fixed directly on Thresh’s hot coal-like eyes.
“Does anyone realise Yasuo doesn’t have a gun?” says the girl.
The tumbleweed crosses the centre, and with a screaming blow Yasuo is immediately struck to the ground by Thresh's hook.
“Bwahahaha!” Thresh walks forward, arms out, “And now I just kill you all anyway!”
Thresh in all his power and glory sudden trips backwards on the tumbleweed and lays in the air for a split second as Yasuo’s blade %%%%%s out of its sheath. In a blazing shine he sweeps the dust to arrive above Thresh’s smoldering body as its cut in three shattering pieces. The carcass lies on the floor, shadowed by the last breath of death itself. It was done. Everyone was saved and peace would rain over more than just this town.
Yasuo would soon become a hero among the people. And also very poor and imprisoned for stealing a horse upon accepting a quest, and forgetting to ask about payment of any sorts, before hiring three very unhappy and unpaid group members.