: Wow! Very nice. Was the first man supposed to be Darius?
Thanks for reading! :D I didn't plan him to be Darius, but I sorta wrote the character based on him so yes, in a way :P
Thulium69 (OCE)
: Wow this is a really nice story:) I had to read it a few times as well as the canon lore due to my limited knowledge of Ahri, but it was definitely a very interesting and different perspective. You must really like Ahri, and it shows through the story; you've really expanded and deepened her character. Best of luck:P
Thank you! I actually started playing league because of Ahri haha Best of luck to you too!
: Thank you! I'm worried me being NA will keep me off the list, but I'm looking forward to reading the top 10, whatever they are. EDIT: My OCE account finally refreshed to level 5! BTW, did you submit one?
Yea I did :D I wrote a story about Ahri called 'The Tails She Holds Close' I'm super excited for the top 10 too :P
: Aye, glad you noticed them - Did you manage to hunt all four abilities and his passive? In his lore he's somewhat-literally a one-man army, so yeah, I went a _little_ overboard, as you always do haha. Thanks for your comment! I enjoyed your Ahri story (she's so hardcore what) - all the best for the competition!
Hardcore champions ftw! Good luck to you too :D
: A Grave Mistake
Oh wow nice introduction to the firearm :D "You spent a fine long time in that workshop to emerge triumphant, holding a club, Graves." This line made me laugh. Very interesting interactions between Fiora and Graves. It's like they were supposed to be friends all along! Personally, I'd rather have read more on these two than on Ez and Cait, because their story reads like a different story than the one you started off with (there's so much there to explore with Fiora x Graves and it's a shame you didn't go further with them). But that's not to say the rest of the story was bland. Thoroughly enjoyed this one :D
Turambar (OCE)
: The Blade and Its Shadow
So full of intrigue and mystery! I feel like I'm reading the first chapters of a good thriller novel :P Well paced throughout, but I wonder if, should you ever keep writing this particular story, you could put more of Talon's character into it to flesh out the story. But maybe this story isn't so much about him as it is about all of these characters. Anyway, canon or not, I really like this piece. Well done :D
: The Sound of Silence
I thought this was about TF, as he's the most greedy champ I can think of. Gradually it became more and more clear that it was actually Sivir, and the reveal was surprising. But it's all very nicely done and believable. There wasn't ever a moment of 'wait, what?' So good work :)
: Pancake Day
Totally expected a joke entry, but this is surprisingly well done. Very meta, and very funny. Well played :P
: Light & Shadow
Very atmospheric! Love love love the ending. Super dramatic XD Kinda wish they get a happy ending, but hey this works too.
: Resolve
I really enjoyed reading this. A suggestion I can make is that the shift in time and tone breaks up the flow of the story a bit. It's a little jarring to read that Yasuo had settled down, then had immediately set out again on his quest. Perhaps it's a matter of formatting, or maybe you could work the past into the present action. Either way, your style is beautiful and really nice to read :D
: Tipping the Scales
While I personally don't have a problem with it, this story is in large a single action piece, and some people may find that just a little boring to read. It may be wise to inject more character insight into your stories to break up the unrelenting action, or cut down on the fight. But it's not badly written. Clear and intense. I enjoyed it :)
Brodo1 (OCE)
: How about a magic trick?
Weew you've made Shaco a force to be reckoned with. Love the dark take on this mad joker. Very Christopher Nolan-esk. Nice work :D
: The Fourth Act (Zed and Shen)
Good mix of Japanese elements in the setting! A slight problem I have is that the ending is a little abruptly ended. I get that you reached the word limit, but I'd have loved to see you write an action scene into this story :)
: The Moon and the sun
This is well written, and very interesting :D I'm so curious as to what can happen next. It seems there is hope for these two after all! I'd love to read more of this if you decide to keep writing it :P
Malygos (OCE)
: FanFiction Contest Entry: Refracted Silence
Nice one. Very realistic tone and detailed descriptions. This narrator you've created seemed so interesting! I wish you did a bit more on him.
: Curse of the Sad Mummy
Ooh how interesting to see Annie's parents! Nicely told. Though I feel in the later parts of the story the focus kinda shifts from Amumu. This might've been your intention but I just assumed from the title that this was all about Amumu. Still, you really captured the feel of the MV well, especially the end where Amumu unleashes his power. Good read :)
Bahnshii (OCE)
: A Fractured Soul
Always love reading an Ahri story. This one especially. You've done a really good job capturing Ahri's character. Fantasising so hard about a Soul-eater Ahri right now :P
DoubleOne (OCE)
: Cards and Bullets.
Well paced! You move between the settings smoothly. I much prefer your portrayal of TF and Graves :D their interactions are a lot more fun to read.
Windrenz (OCE)
: An average day in Summoner Rift ft. Draven and Urgot
KPanda (OCE)
: Yordle Ingenuity
You've written a story about Teemo. You deserve praise for your bravery. Jokes aside, I'd much rather read a dedicated story of a couple of characters, rather than a story involving a lot of them. Of course, that decision is up to you. It's just that with Teemo, you're putting a lot on the line (seeing as how controversial of a champion he is), and to have a protagonist of such caliber as the focal point of your narrative, you need to spend a lot of time making him into a character people want to invest in. I'd say this is a good effort. Well done!
Goopy (OCE)
: A Hex Like No Other (Vayne Lucian fanfiction)
Tense and mysterious in the beginning, but I feel the build-up is just a tiny bit long. The real problem I had was the confrontation. I'd love to read more about this moment, since you've built it up so much. But good work nonetheless :)
: A special kind of minion
Creepy and gory. Superb. Such an entertaining read! The interactions between Jinx and Ekko is so amusing. Who else will use the corpse of a minion to play tricks on other people? Very well thought out :D
: Life and Mercy
Reads so well and so beautifully. I'd even say it's professional. Simply a pleasure to read :)
: Bandle could always use more heroes.
It's refreshing to read a story told through the perspective of a 'civilian', rather than a hero. Very nice portrayal of Poppy too :)
Fyooosh (OCE)
: Pilgrim
Oh wow I did not expect that XD you kept the twist well-hidden but it was never obnoxious. Mysterious and just hilarious to read. Nicely done! Poor little guy. I'd totally buy him a drink. (But just this one. They can call me bias I don't care.)
Fyooosh (OCE)
: I think I'll need to read this a few times. So _deep!_ I still have about a dozen more stories to read to get through them all, but this is one of my favourites. Excellent story-telling, and I loved this version of Ahri too!
Thank you! :D It's such an honor to write about a character I love so much :3
: Save me
Who knew under Lulu's adorable craziness is a sweet little girl? I ship it. As for the italics, it's not entirely clear it was the past, especially when they're used along with the normal text. Otherwise the story reads very well :)
Jason (OCE)
: Her Purple Hair | Ekko
Hey this is clever :D you really make this narrative technique work. Very well told!
Neoslate (OCE)
: The Calm Before the Storm
You might have gone a tineecy bit overboard while describing Jayce's, uh, rippling physique, but it's not a big deal. I think it's fine in terms of age-appropriateness. I'd have liked to read more of their interactions though, because this pairing is just adorable <3
: The College of Magic ft. Annie
The ending was hilariously awesome. I wish you gave it some more space in the story though. I would have loved to see him tear up the school and send people flying in every which way :D
Yukarin (OCE)
: //Reboot: Code >>PROJECT_Fiora<<
Omg this story packs a punch! So powerful and interesting. Let's see Riot make _this_ into a cinematic!
Griswold (OCE)
: Jhin's Masterpiece
Great build-up and you deliver with a powerful finish. This really fleshes out the lore and is still original enough to stand on its own. Good character insight :)
: Katarina's Misson
I always imagined a fight between Kat and Talon to be more even, but you make it believable. I would love to read a rematch between these two!
: Don't Blink
It's like looking at an intimate side of Ekko he doesn't show to just anyone. Often with characters we forget they have things they care about too. Good job giving Ekko so much more incentive to fight!
Oly (OCE)
: Uwendale Attack
Brutal XD absolutely brutal.
: Four Words
If this doesn't get in the shortlist, you're robbed. This story is haunting, mysterious, and so, so well paced. Excellent use of the first-person POV to emphasise the slightly off-ness of the narrator. And the reveal of Jhin was just...delicious. x1000 thumbs up.
: A Short-lived Victory
Haha I love the humour you put into the story. The world you've painted really feels alive and real. Enjoyed reading this :)
LadyMara (OCE)
: Getting Help from My “Son” – A Viktor Date?
Never thought I'd say this about Victor and Blitz, but that was really cute :3
: The Tale Of The Prodigy
I'm not too familiar with Ez's lore, but I feel you do him justice with this story. It's a believable backstory but more importantly, exciting and full of suspense :)
nymphgutz (OCE)
: Everybody, Panic
Ahaha League Drama XD I love it.
Yumekaze (OCE)
: Shadow Assault
That backstory was chilling and just so delicious to read :P Great atmosphere.
Miss Auri (OCE)
: Diary of a Shuriman Merchant
Genius use of the diary format! It's so funny that I wish you did an entry for every champion XD
: The Unforgiven Wanderer
Great use of the champion's skill sets and quotes. You weave them well into your own writing. The story really flows (excuse the pun) well.
Blackavar (OCE)
: Bubbles
Didn't expect that turn of events, but you managed to break the forth-wall without sounding cheesy. Very well done. Impressive :D
: This is a really good story, strong and powerful. Good job keep it up, and good luck :D
Oh hey thanks! You too :P
Packet (OCE)
: The Perfect Thread
Glad you explained the inspiration. Really adds a little bit more to the story :) Though of course, even without it the story was a great read. Thoroughly enjoyed the Yasuo x Taliyah pairing. Very interesting interactions!
: On the Outskirts of Bandle City
The detail with the glove and Veigar's past really fleshed out his character. The rest of the story was both tense and hilarious at the same time. I see this little guy a bit differently now :)
Thornax11 (OCE)
: Zilean: Origins
There is nothing in the world better than writing about something you love, and to love what you've written. But may I suggest you keep to the word limit? It's painful to cut things out, I know, but one of the most important things you can do to become a better writer is to tighten your work and become succinct in your prose. Keep it up!
azaki (OCE)
: Between the Sol and the Luna
As a support main, I frown every time someone says Diana beats Leona. But your Diana is written so powerfully and with so much character even I must recognise her power. WP WP
Dire Bees (OCE)
: Hunger never sleeps
I've always thought Kog'maw was cute. I'm so grateful this story exists. {{item:3070}}
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Oneechan

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